Faux-stess Cupcakes

Cream Filled Chocolate Cupcakes

Here's the recipe for the Faux-stess cupcakes that many of you enjoyed at the recent Juli/Elise birthday celebration. For those of you who weren't able to join us, you can now enjoy them at home. For those of you who liked them at the party, you can now have seconds.

I said that the Brownie Mosaic Cheesecake was easy, but had a lot of steps. Maybe that's an oxymoron. I will reiterate the oxymoron here. Regular cupcakes are easier to make than these...and they can be pretty tasty. Cupcakes from Georgetown Cupcake are easier too...unless you count the labor required to earn the money to buy a $5.00 cupcake. Buying a package of Hostess is a lot easier...unless you count the effort necessary to drive to an unfamiliar neighborhood to buy them...so that nobody who loves or respects you will see you debasing yourself like that. But of course, God is always watching...and God will smite you.

Hostess cupcakes taste like sweet brown chemicals. The filling tastes sweet and white and coats your mouth...think of a little Louisiana Gulf coast right there in your mouth. These cupcakes taste irrefutably like chocolate. The creamy filling tastes creamy. If you left it out on a store shelf, it wouldn't last an hour. It would melt down into inedible goop. That's because it's real, actual food. Real, actual food does that. Mysterious white chemicals with polysyllabic names remain perky and foodlike nearly forever. These cupcakes have no frosting. These are slathered with ganache...chocolate melted with butter. You cannot peal it off like a disk of brown Play-Doh and eat it separately. Ganache melts at just below body temperature, so it can be licked off, if nobody's watching...and you're that kind of person.

Maybe "easy, but with a lot of steps" is an oxymoron. Fair enough. There is a continuum between "easy peasey lemon squeezy" and "too fussy to bother with". There is also a continuum between "inedible really but kind of food-like" and "very tasty". Others may use lurid descriptions, eye rolling and groaning..."the best thing I ever ate" and other hyperbole. Those kinds of intemperate descriptions are unscientific. We're scientific around here. (Editors note: Jacqueline defines the tastiness scale. The "very tasty" can be accompanied by a demure stamp of the foot...feet in third position. "Over the top" can also be appended to "very tasty". But since "over the top" can be used to describe things that are not food, "over the top" cannot be used to define
the scale...like the foot stamp, it is only a modifier.) These cupcakes lie at the intersection of the two curves...where the difficulty line meets the tastiness line...at the "for special occasions" point on the difficulty curve...admittedly closer to "too fussy to bother with" than "easy peasy lemon squeezy"...but smack dab on top of "very tasty" on the tastiness curve. Around here, we call that point of intersection "worth it".

Faux-stess Cupcakes (AKA Chocolate Cream Cupcakes from Cooks Country)

CUPCAKES

1 cup all purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup boiling water

1/2 cup cocoa powder

1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips

3/4 cup sugar

1/2 cup sour cream

1/2 cup vegetable oil

2 large eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

FILLING

3 tablespoons water

3/4 teaspoon unflavored gelatin

4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, softened

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

pinch salt

1 1/4 cups marshmallow creme (not marshmallow sauce)

GLAZE

1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips

3 tablespoons unsalted butter

METHOD

1. MAKE BATTER Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 325 degrees. Grease and flour 12-cup muffin tin. Combine flour, baking soda, and salt in bowl. Whisk boiling water, cocoa and chocolate chips in large bowl until smooth. Add sugar, sour cream, oil, eggs, and vanilla and mix until combined. whisk in flour mixture until incorporated. Divide batter evenly among muffin cups. Bake until toothpick inserted into cupcake comes out with few dry crumbs attached, 18 to 22 minutes. Cool cupcakes in tin 10 minutes, then turn out onto wire rack and cool completely.

2. PREPARE FILLING Combine water and gelatine in large bowl and let sit until gelatin softens, about 5 minutes. Microwave until mixture is bubbling around edges and gelatin dissolves, about 30 seconds (microwaves are so unpredictable and fussy, you need to watch this like a hawk). Stir in butter, vanilla and salt until combined. Let mixture cool until just warm to touch, about 5 minutes, then whisk in marshmallow cream until smooth; refrigerate until set, about 30 minutes. Transfer 1/3 cup mashamallow mixture to pastry bag fitted with small plain tip (see note below); reserve remaining mixture for filling cupcakes.

3. ASSEMBLE CUPCAKES Microwave chocolate and butter in small bowl, stirring occasionally, until smooth, about 30 seconds. Cool glaze to room temperature, about 10 minutes. Cut cone from top of each cupcake (see note below) and fill cupcakes with 1 tablespoon filling each. Replace tops, frost with 2 tablespoons cooled glaze, and let sit 10 minutes. Using pastry bag, pipe curlicues across glazed cupcakes. Serve. (Cupcakes can be stored up to two days in an airtight container at room temperature).

Note on pastry bag: A pastry bag is not necessary. Use a sturdy ZipLock plastic bag. Spoon the filling down into a bottom corner of the bag. Snip a tiny bit off of the corner and presto...cheap, instant pastry bag. That's what we did and it worked fine.

Note on cutting cone from top of each cupcake: Use a small, thin bladed knife, like a paring knife. Cut about 1/4 inch from the edge of the cupcake with the knife slanting inward toward the center at about a 45 degree angle. Cut about 2 inches deep in a circle. It's easier than it sounds...and if you Gerber one up, spoon its measure of filling into it immediately and eat it! Once you've extracted the cone of cake from the cupcake, cut off all but about 1/4 inch at the top, to make a little lid. The leftover cones of cake are pretty tasty too. You need your strength to get through a recipe like this. Eat those little cones of cake as you work. The party is still probably hours away.

One last thing: Even if you don't want to go to all the trouble of filling and curlicues, at least make the chocolate cupcakes...frost them with cream cheese frosting or put a little vanilla glaze on them...you can even eat them plain...but honest, they are the best chocolate cupcakes you might ever eat. Would we lie?

Shakshuka...or...Eggs in a Hellbasket

Eggs poached in spicy tomato sauce

I think that many people fear poached eggs. Many more fear egg poaching. I suspect that those who fear poached eggs are put off because they have been served gelatinous blobs of watery egg white with yolks in the middle...the nice runny yolk being the only truly edible part. I can feel your pain. I'm not a fan of eggs that make me want to reach for a straw.

On the other hand, a well-poached egg is a fine thing. I think that poached eggs are the eggiest kind. There is a purity and simplicity to a nicely poached egg that cannot be approached by other methods. Even soft boiled is less pure. It requires all that cracking and digging out of the shell. Poaching is purity.

Shakshuka is a good way to gain confidence and to confront your egg poaching...and poached egg eating...demons. It's an Israeli dish of eggs poached in spicy tomato sauce. However, the Israelis do not have a monopoly on the eggs poached in spicy tomato sauce market. I know about something called "Eggs in Hell"...or Eggs in a Hellbasket, if you're reluctant to use the word hell...a Tex-Mex dish that's a lot like shakshuka. In fact, the only difference is in the spices, and that difference is not huge.

When poaching eggs in something fairly thick, like tomato sauce, the whites of the eggs don't drift off in strings, wisps and veils through the poaching liquid. The egg is contained reasonably well by the viscosity of the sauce. Also, since you'll be eating the eggs under cover of the sauce, less harm is done if you poke at the whites to see if they're cooked to the suitably non-mucoid stage.

Even if you fear poached eggs, it's worth making Shakshuka or Eggs in Hell. Even if it's only for the fun of announcing what's on the menu for friends and family. Both sound risky, if not downright dangerous. The recipe shown below strikes me as dangerous, actually. It requires a lot of chilis. When we made it the first time, I added a medium pinch of dried chili flakes in place of all of those Anaheims or jalapenos. Even then it was too much for Jacqueline's delicate palate, so the next time we made it without any chili and I added Tabasco at the table. Beware of the chilies and adjust to suit your tastes.

The Eggs in Hell variation would involve substituting some oregano for the paprika, cilanto for parsley, and jack, cotija or queso blanco for the feta. The pitas would be replaced with warmed tortillas. Either way you do the spices, it's very tasty...really, it is.

We got this recipe from Smitten Kitchen. As you can see, she got it from Saveur magazine. Thank you Saveur magazine and thank you Deb at Smitten Kitchen.

Shakshuka [Eggs Poached in Spicy Tomato Sauce]
Adapted from Saveur

Serves 4 to 6

1/4 cup olive oil
5 Anaheim chilis or 3 jalapeños, stemmed, seeded, and finely chopped
1 small yellow onion, chopped
5 cloves garlic, crushed then sliced
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 tablespoon paprika
1 28-ounce can whole peeled tomatoes, undrained
Kosher salt, to taste
6 eggs
1/2 cup feta cheese, crumbled
1 tablespoon chopped flat-leaf parsley
Warm pitas, for serving

Heat oil in a 12-inch skillet over medium-high heat. Add chilis and onions and cook, stirring occasionally, until soft and golden brown, about 6 minutes. Add garlic, cumin, and paprika, and cook, stirring frequently, until garlic is soft, about 2 more minutes.

Put tomatoes and their liquid into a medium bowl and crush with your hands. Add crushed tomatoes and their liquid to skillet along with 1/2 cup water, reduce heat to medium, and simmer, stirring occasionally, until thickened slightly, about 15 minutes. Season sauce with salt.

Crack eggs over sauce so that eggs are evenly distributed across sauce’s surface. Cover skillet and cook until yolks are just set, about 5 minutes. Using a spoon, baste the whites of the eggs with tomato mixture, being careful not to disturb the yolk. Sprinkle shakshuka with feta and parsley and serve with pitas, for dipping.

Jewish Wedding Traditions Everybody Should Have

A couple of weeks ago Jacqueline brought home Jewish Weddings, by Rita Milos Brownstein. It was mostly out of curiosity…curiosity spurred by Brett and Mesia’s wedding. There were two traditions in there that we really like.

The first is the Ketubah. Here’s what the book says about it.

“This one piece of paper is more important than a knockout diamond, a beautiful wedding album, piles of gifts, or a heavenly island honeymoon. This is a gift from the husband to his wife, outlining his obligations to the woman who will share his life. It is a written document assuring respect, dignity, happiness, shelter, and legal and financial rights within the union.”

These are beautiful documents, prepared by calligraphers, and beautifully decorated. There is a general pattern for the contents of the ketubah, but each is unique.

The other custom we like is the yichud. Here’s what the book says about the yichud.

“A wonderful custom, the yichud, ensures that the couple’s first moments as husband and wife are spent together privately. Friends escort the couple to a private room where a table is set with a snack and a bottle of champagne or wine. I those precious moments the couple gets to share their thoughts and feelings, and most of all, their happiness.”

We kind of drew from this custom when we prepared the little luncheon for Brett and Mesia. We knew they’d be hungry, so we made it a meal rather than a snack. We also knew that they wouldn’t be interested in champagne or wine, so we left that part out.

Here’s what we prepared for them...

Salad of Caramelized Golden Filet Beans, Carrots, and Duck Breast Prosciutto

On a Bed of Organic Baby Greens

Poached Line-Caught Steelhead Trout
with
Sour Cream and Dill Sauce



Home Baked Butter Croissants
with
Butter and Crabapple-Rosemary Jelly

S. Pelegrino Sparkling Water

Orange Madeleines

See’s Dark Chocolate Truffles

The duck breast prosciutto could have been regular prosciutto di Parma, other quality ham or even pancetta. We liked the duck breast because it’s salty and smoky and has a rich sort of gamey flavor underlying it all. It's also kind of unique. If you want to try it you'll have to contact me. I made it my own self.

Salmon would make a good substitute for the steelhead trout. The trout seems a little fattier and softer than salmon. Other kinds or trout would work well.